there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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