Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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