U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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