at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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