Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
