do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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