Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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