i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
