Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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