I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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