Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
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