I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize