We got so high we made milksteak
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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