Your mouth is God's brothel.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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