I look better un-naked...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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