Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
