I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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