At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
His nipple licking is glorious
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