its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
