Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
