what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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