Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I party with great urgency now.
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