You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
