I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize