were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
