you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
