why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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