It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
