using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
