Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
third nipple confirmed
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
