Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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