maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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