I'm gonna have a badass scar
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
