I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
