she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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