I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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