I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize