I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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