There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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