you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
