:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
