It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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