Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
