The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
