She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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