Your face is a jimmy john
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
