Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
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