People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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