we have officially lost it.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
