I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
