While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize
