Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
