and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize