that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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