Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Acid is not a monday night drug
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
