The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize