She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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