I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
