i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
