Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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