yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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