Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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