Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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