dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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