He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
