And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
