My balls are so social today.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
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If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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