how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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