Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Randomize
Follow @tfln