You made me cry and you don't even care
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the condom got lost in my hair
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
