What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
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i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Less talking, more tequila
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
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He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD