I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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