I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
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Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
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I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
