hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz