How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Holy sore nipples Batman
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
