Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
